Telling someone with anxiety to “stop worrying” can be as unhelpful as telling someone experiencing depression to “cheer up.” While such comments may be intended to provide reassurance, they can make the person feel misunderstood, dismissed, or even more distressed. Unfortunately, many people are unsure about how to support someone dealing with anxiety and may unintentionally say or do things that make the situation harder.
Anxiety is a complex condition that can affect people in very different ways. It does not follow one fixed pattern, and its symptoms and intensity can vary from one person to another.
It is important to understand that anxiety is more than everyday worry. It can be an overwhelming and distressing experience that may leave someone feeling out of control, emotionally exhausted, extremely low, or even trigger panic attacks.
Anyone who has experienced anxiety knows that phrases such as “calm down” or “you’re worrying about nothing” rarely make things better. Instead, they can create the feeling that nobody understands what they are going through.
Sometimes, dismissing someone’s fears can even intensify their anxiety because they may begin to feel that their concerns are not being understood or taken seriously. That is why knowing how to respond with patience, empathy, and understanding can make a meaningful difference.
Supporting someone with anxiety can feel difficult too. You may worry about saying the wrong thing or making their feelings worse. However, you do not need to have all the answers. Being present, listening without judgment, and encouraging healthy forms of support can be valuable.
Here are some ways to support a friend, family member, partner, or anyone else who may be struggling with anxiety.
1. Learn About Anxiety Disorders
The first step toward supporting someone with anxiety is understanding the condition.
One of the biggest misconceptions about anxiety is that it is simply ordinary worrying. Learning about anxiety disorders, their symptoms, possible triggers, and how they can affect a person’s thoughts and behavior can help you develop greater empathy.
The more you understand about anxiety, the better prepared you will be to recognize what the person may be experiencing and offer appropriate support.
2. Watch for Common Signs
Along with learning what anxiety is, familiarize yourself with some of its common signs and symptoms.
These may include excessive worry, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, trouble sleeping, physical tension, rapid heartbeat, sweating, or feelings of fear and panic.
Recognizing these signs can help you understand when someone may be struggling and encourage you to respond with patience rather than judgment.
3. Avoid Saying “Don’t Worry”
Knowing what not to say is just as important as knowing what to say.
Avoid telling someone with anxiety to “just calm down,” “stop worrying,” or “there’s nothing to worry about.” Although these statements may be intended as reassurance, they can make the person feel that their emotions are being dismissed.
Instead, try acknowledging their feelings and letting them know that you are there to listen. You do not have to agree with every fear they have; simply showing that you take their feelings seriously can be comforting.
4. Let Them Know You Understand
Sometimes, someone experiencing anxiety simply needs another person to recognize how difficult things feel for them.
Let your friend or family member know that you are there for them and that you understand they are going through a difficult moment. Be present and patient rather than immediately trying to fix the situation.
At the same time, avoid making promises you cannot keep. You cannot remove another person’s anxiety, but you can offer companionship and emotional support while they work through it.
5. Acknowledge Their Struggle
A person experiencing intense anxiety may not always realize that anxiety could be contributing to what they are feeling. During periods of severe anxiety or panic, physical symptoms such as a racing heart, shortness of breath, dizziness, or chest discomfort can feel frightening.
If they already recognize that they have anxiety, simply acknowledging what they are experiencing can also be reassuring. Statements such as “I can see that you’re having a difficult time” or “I’m here and I’m listening” can help them feel seen and supported.
If symptoms are new, severe, unusual, or potentially medical, encourage them to seek appropriate medical care rather than assuming anxiety is the cause.
6. Learn About Calming Breathing Techniques
During moments of intense anxiety or panic, slow and controlled breathing may help some people feel calmer.
Learning a simple breathing technique beforehand can allow you to support them when they need it. If they are comfortable with it, you can calmly breathe alongside them rather than simply telling them to “take a deep breath.”
Your calm presence can also remind them that they are not facing the difficult moment alone.
7. Practice Active Listening
Few things are more frustrating than trying to share your feelings with someone who is clearly distracted.
When a friend, family member, partner, or loved one is talking about their anxiety, try to give them your full attention. Put away distractions, listen patiently, and avoid interrupting or immediately offering solutions.
Sometimes people do not need advice at all. They simply need a safe person who will listen without judging them.
8. Be Someone They Can Reach Out To
If you are comfortable doing so, let the person know that they can reach out when they are having a difficult time.
However, healthy boundaries are important. Supporting someone does not mean being available every hour of every day or becoming solely responsible for their emotional wellbeing.
Let them know when you are available to listen and encourage them to develop a wider support network, including trusted people and professional help when needed.
9. Encourage Physical Activity
Regular physical activity can be helpful for overall mental wellbeing, although someone experiencing anxiety may not always feel motivated to exercise.
Instead of simply telling them to work out, consider joining them. Go for a walk, take a gentle run, visit the gym, attend a dance class, or choose another activity they enjoy.
The goal is not to force exercise as a treatment but to encourage healthy movement and provide an opportunity to spend some positive time together.
10. Help Them Avoid Unhealthy Coping Habits
When people are overwhelmed, they may sometimes turn to unhealthy habits to cope. These can include excessive alcohol use, smoking, overeating, overspending, or using drugs.
If you notice concerning changes in someone’s behavior, approach the subject with compassion rather than criticism. Avoid shaming or confronting them aggressively.
Instead, encourage healthier coping strategies and, when appropriate, support them in seeking professional help. If there is an immediate risk to their safety, seek urgent professional or emergency assistance.
Supporting someone with anxiety does not mean having to fix everything for them. Often, the most valuable things you can offer are patience, understanding, attentive listening, and encouragement to seek appropriate support. Small acts of empathy can help a person feel less alone while they navigate what they are experiencing.