Akshaye Khanna is suddenly everywhere again, thanks to those effortlessly suave moves in his recent movie Dhurandhar that have the internet collectively swooning.
And as always happens when a desirable, talented, charming man is visibly single, people start to discuss his relationship status, the same has happened with him – with full force. His old interviews resurfaced, interviews in which he calmly and clearly explains something that should have never been controversial: he doesn’t want a family and he is absolutely at peace with that.
In a society where settling down is often treated like the final badge of honour, Akshaye has consistently said his ambition is not to have kids. He doesn’t feel that he can handle the responsibility of a wife and children. He even acknowledges that wanting a family is natural for many men and women but it’s simply not natural for him. He’s honest about his limitations and that honesty is rare, especially from public figures who are expected to fit into a universal template of ‘normal life.’ And that’s where the conversation becomes bigger than one actor.
Is marriage and having children the ultimate step?
We still live in a society where the ‘right time’ to marry and have children hangs over adults like a checklist. Whether in India or elsewhere, the pressure is subtle, sometimes loud but always present. The idea of opting out, that is staying single by choice is frequently met with judgement. People quietly assume there’s something ‘missing’, in fact many think it’s a phase. Some even treat singlehood as a correction that life will eventually fix.
But should anyone be pushed into marriage simply because it’s expected? Especially when they know deep down that they cannot offer the time, emotional labour or commitment a partner and children deserve?
Couple therapists repeatedly say that lack of attention, mismatch in expectations and emotional imbalance are among the biggest reasons marriages become unhappy. One person gives too much, the other too little. One needs connection, the other wants space. These are not character flaws, they are incompatibilities, often rooted in choices people never truly wanted to make.
And when two mismatched adults stay stuck in a marriage that doesn’t nourish them, the consequences don’t stay between them. Even their children absorb the unhappiness. Families carry forward the emotional weight. It’s far more damaging than the stigma attached to being single.
Viewed through that lens, Akshaye’s clarity feels refreshing. He has no desire to perform ‘settled life’ just to appear complete. In fact, reports say he follows a disciplined routine, prefers quiet nights and once skipped his own success party because he would rather be asleep at 9:30 pm. In a world that glorifies networking and social visibility, that level of self-awareness is almost rebellious.
And maybe that’s the lesson here. There is dignity in knowing yourself. Whether it’s a man who chooses not to marry or a woman who knows she isn’t cut out for parenting, their decision isn’t selfish. It’s responsible. It’s mature. And it’s far kinder than entering commitments they cannot honour. It’s time we stop viewing singlehood as an absence. Sometimes, it’s the most honest form of presence, with oneself, one’s truth and one’s boundaries. And that deserves respect, not judgement.