Love Story With Twist: Love is important in marriage, but along with it physical attraction is also very important. But if this does not happen then can the marriage work? A 25 year old girl is searching for the answer to this question.
Marriage is bound by love and honesty, but its life force is physical relationship. If these three things remain present in the relationship between husband and wife, then it is sure to be stable. But if even one thing is missing then it is difficult to say how long it will last. A 25-year-old girl is asking people’s opinion on social media whether she should marry a man who is loving and honest, but she is not sexually attracted to him. So let’s tell the whole story, which he has shared on Reddit.
A 25 year old girl tells that she has been with a 35 year old man for about 4 years. We got engaged so we can get married. I had come into this relationship in search of a partner, whereas he had got divorced after 10 years of marriage. Everything was going well between us. The girl tells that my sex drive is very high and I am confident about myself, whereas she is more traditional and reserved by nature. Our chemistry is amazing, conversation is easy and he is very happy with me. We had a wonderful life for two years.
when everything started changing
After two years of hookup and dating, we started living together. At the same time, there was a lot of turmoil going on in his personal life, due to which he went to therapy and was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. Our sex life, which used to happen 3-4 times a week earlier, reduced to barely once a week. There were minor problems before, but never this serious.
The girl further writes that we blamed it on medicines, stress and circumstances. The situation worsened with time. He even got his testosterone level checked, which turned out to be normal. Things got so bad that we even took a break for a while, the biggest reason for which was the lack of sex and his lack of interest. After some time we tried to manage the relationship again. His job changed, the pressure reduced, the medicines started working and he started showing more love and care than before. Gradually we started working on sex life also.
Had weight loss surgery and then the truth came out
During this time I was preparing for weight loss surgery. I have struggled with weight my whole life and I also have PCOS. He never made me feel bad about my looks, but I took this decision for my health, not for him. I had surgery after about a year of procedure. He was with me at every step, encouraging me. Three weeks after surgery I had lost about 25 pounds. Then one day he started complimenting my looks, but also said that he was afraid that now that I was “thin and hot” I might leave him.
We decided to discuss this matter openly. I told him my biggest concern was that he might not like me right now, but might start liking me after I slim down. And then he said that thing which broke me. He said that he was never physically attracted to me throughout the relationship.
broken trust
This is extremely painful for a woman to hear. He said he loves me very much, wants to marry me, I am his life, but the physical attraction was never complete. He admitted that this was a major reason for our poor sex life and he kept fulfilling his needs by watching adult movies, although he never cheated. Hearing this made me feel disgusted, betrayed and lied to. It felt as if all our closeness was fake. My self-confidence was completely shattered.
He says that as I become thinner, his attractiveness will increase and he wants to work on it. But there is a fear in my heart that even after losing weight, will he still like me if I have loose skin? What hurts the most is that he kept this truth hidden for so many years.
Read more: ‘In what situation should a husband abandon his wife’, know what Premanand Ji Maharaj said?
Now the question is this…
I always wanted a husband who was crazy about me and not just considered me his best friend. We are good in every aspect, but can marriage survive without physical attraction? I have a daughter, who considers him as my father. I am confused about my daughter, my life and my future. It is difficult to imagine life without them, but the thought of living your entire life without sex and true closeness also scares you. I am completely lost. Can such relationships survive or am I trying to delude myself?
What is people’s opinion?
People reacted a lot to this story on Reddit. One user wrote that you are just 25 years old, don’t waste your time on such a person. You deserve a man who will treat you with love and respect. Whereas, another user wrote, ‘You are very young. You are at the beginning of your life. Don’t do this to yourself. Hey, even if you’re 60, don’t do this to yourself. You should share your life with someone who loves, chooses and desires you unconditionally. Most of the people have said that do not compromise here and leave that person.
Read this also: Love, money and career…everything was there, still the wife left at the age of 41, men will be alert if they know the reason