Relationship Issue: 32 year old youth showed sobriety by giving up alcohol. But his girlfriend started calling it control. The real life story of a young man on Reddit has brought boundaries, trust and relationship issues into discussion.
Giving up sobriety is a big and positive step for any person, but can this decision cause tension in relationships? The story of a 32-year-old man is being discussed on Reddit, where he claims that his girlfriend is viewing his sobriety and boundaries as control. Let us tell the whole story.
The young man writes on the radio that I am 32 years old and she is 29 years old. Our relationship is more than three years old. We live separately, but spend most nights together. About 9 months ago I decided to quit alcohol. The reason was not a major accident, but deep inside I started feeling that I had started using alcohol to shut down my mind. I used to feel restless as soon as I woke up in the morning. Weight also started increasing. I started therapy, worked on myself and today to be honest, I am proud of my decision.
His habits and our tug of war
My girlfriend is a social drinker, but alcohol is also her biggest stress reliever. When we started dating, all this seemed normal. Now the situation has become different. He has started having problems after I quit drinking. She makes fun of me everywhere. The worst feeling is when she uses my sobriety to prove that she is controlling. Last weekend she planned a wine night. I said I’ll bring good snacks and we can have a mocktail night. His reaction changed immediately. She said, ‘So now I can’t even relax in my own home because you have decided to be better than everyone else?’ I clearly said that I don’t care whether she drinks or not.
Sorry, but with it comes the trauma card.
Later he apologized, but that apology also turned into a long speech. She said her ex was very controlling and my restraints triggered her old trauma. I agree that trauma is real, but I also feel that she uses it as a shield when she wants to end the conversation.
X’s entry and matters worsen
Things got worse two nights ago. I came to know that she is messaging her ex again. No open sexting, but she was talking flirtatious things. When I asked, he said that I was paranoid, because instead of alcohol, I have now developed an addiction to control. Then she said that if I keep monitoring her decisions like her father, she will end the relationship. I left from there and sat in the car for about 20 minutes. I don’t understand what to do with this relationship. I love her, but the truth is that I’m very tired.
people’s opinion
A user on Reddit said that if she is messaging her ex, it is a red flag. You should come out of the relationship. At the same time, a user wrote that your girlfriend is doing wrong by blaming you. This relationship is not good for your emotional health and in such a situation, the healthiest decision would be to distance yourself or come out of the relationship.
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