Aryendra Kumar, an IIT Kharagpur graduate, faced setbacks and mental health struggles during his UPSC journey. Through perseverance, routine, and mindfulness, he overcame these challenges, ultimately achieving his dream of becoming an IPS officer.
After completing his graduation in electrical engineering from IIT Kharagpur in 2019, Aryendra Kumar found himself at the crossroads of life. Campus placements did not go as expected. Opportunities he had hoped for either did not come through or were not up to his expectations. With no backup plan, he entered the demanding and daunting world of UPSC preparation.
He came to Delhi with the dream of becoming part of India’s civil services. But what lay ahead were continuous failures, disappointment, and deep despair. Despite everything, he persevered through his struggles by clinging to the hope of achieving his dream. Here is his inspiring journey to success amidst lost hope and mental health struggles. He talks about mental health—a challenge many UPSC aspirants face but rarely discuss openly.
His first two attempts at the preliminary exams were disappointing, leaving him overwhelmed by the vast syllabus and the uncertainty of the process.
For a while, attending coaching classes in Delhi gave him structure and a sense of progress. But when the lockdown began, classes came to a halt, and the silence became unbearable. Cut off from his peers and unable to go outside, Aryendra’s mind turned into a battleground of anxiety and negative thoughts. During these uncertain times in 2020, he struggled with intense panic and felt like a burden on the relatives he was staying with.
Night after night, during the lockdown, he battled dark thoughts, doubting the value of his efforts and even considering the unthinkable. His panic attacks were so intense that he felt certain his heart would stop. He couldn’t share his distress with his parents, fearing they might worry too much about him. The cycle of anxiety and depression seemed endless and Aryendre endured his pain in silence.
A Fresh Start in Prayagraj
After the lockdown eased in September 2020, Aryendra moved to Prayagraj to live with his uncle. This change in environment proved to be a turning point. He started his preparations again with a conscious focus on his mental health.
He created a disciplined daily routine for himself. He introspected and realized that he struggled with the negative thoughts most at night time. To counter this, he set strict sleep and wake-up times. He would wake up at 5 am and go to bed by 10 pm. Arranging his day like this, helped him focus on study sessions and various wellness activities.
The Power of Routine and Mindfulness
Meditation and exercise soon became important parts of Aryendra’s mornings. Initially, he followed online videos to stay focused, but gradually, these practices evolved into daily habits that brought him peace and improved his concentration. Meditation, in particular, helped quiet the clamour of anxiety and established a more positive mental space.
Breaking the Syllabus Into Manageable Parts
This new routine also helped him track his progress and become more productive. Breaks between study sessions prevented burnout and kept his energy levels consistent. Another key strategy Aryendra used was dividing the overwhelming UPSC syllabus into smaller, manageable sections.
Setting small goals changed the preparation process entirely. Each completed section became a confidence booster, giving him the momentum to tackle the next challenge. For Aryendra, developing these habits and coping strategies provided immense support during difficult times.
Reducing External Pressures
During his UPSC journey, Aryendra also limited his social interactions. He changed his phone number and shared it only with his immediate family. He distanced himself from friends who often talked about corporate careers, high salaries, and subjects that could easily distract him with negativity. He had just one goal in his mind.
He also began keeping a diary, writing down his fears and anxieties on paper rather than letting them build up inside. This was his way of expressing himself without brooding on negativity. Each entry ended with a hopeful note or a plan for a positive change the next day. Though some struggles remained, these affirmations instilled a sense of hope in him.
From Setbacks to Success
After two failed attempts at UPSC, he appeared for Uttar Pradesh Provincial Civil Services (UPPCS) exam in 2021. To his surprise, he cleared the preliminary, main, and the interview stages, securing a position as a Naib Tehsildar.
Despite his UPPSC success, he did not give up on his IPS dream. In his third UPSC attempt in 2022, he reached the interview stage, and in 2023, he cleared the exam, securing a position in the Indian Railway Management Service (IRMS). Dissatisfied with the outcome, he appeared again in 2024, improving his rank to 527 and finally achieving his dream of becoming an IPS officer.
One can only imagine the true moments of joy he experienced with his triumph after years of failures and mental health struggles. He did not just pass an exam, he overcame the suicidal thoughts that had once controlled him.
Advice for Aspirants
Aryendra’s journey offers important lessons for all the aspirants and those struggling with despair in their lives.
- Accept uncertainty as part of the process. Preparing yourself for mentally for any outcome is essential.
- Backup options are important and should be considered early to provide stability without losing focus.
- Consistency is key to long-term success.
- Taking care of mental health is a sign of strength.
- Meditation, daily affirmations, exercise, and honest conversations can be life-saving.
- Success comes from perseverance, not just talent.
Aryendra points out how mental health struggles faced by aspirants are often brushed aside as simple “overthinking.” They are given the suggestion to just “study harder.” His personal struggles clearly show that ignoring these issues only makes this worse.
He urges education institutions and families to openly talk about mental health, encourage awareness, show compassion, and create a supportive environment to prevent tragic outcomes. Looking back on his journey, Aryendra insists that while pursuing a career in civil services is still a meaningful goal, the bigger victory is simply deciding to keep living, striving, and fighting for yourself.
Today, Aryendra is a successful Indian Police Service (IPS) officer. His story brings hope to many. It shows that surviving through difficult times can lead to a future that is more fulfilling than anything one could have imagined.