Actor Govinda has opened up about one of the most difficult phases of his life, recalling how the death of his mother, Nirmala Devi, left him deeply shattered.
In a conversation with ANI, Govinda spoke about the grief he experienced after his mother passed away in 1996.
“I was in a lot of pain. I was in tremendous pain. At that point, I felt that everything was over,” he said.
Nirmala Devi, a noted Hindustani classical singer and actor, died on June 15, 1996, at the age of 69.
Govinda recalled that after her death, he went to the Narmada River and walked into the water, believing that he might somehow be able to meet his mother again.
When asked whether he was attempting to take his own life, Govinda said it was “kind of” that situation, explaining that he was extremely attached to his mother and deeply affected by her loss.
He added that he does not personally look at life and death in conventional terms, saying that he believes life continues in different forms.
Govinda also recalled that a sadhu, whom he remembers as Ram Kundal, approached him while he was in the river. According to the actor, the encounter helped him regain perspective.
He said the moment made him realise that he still had responsibilities and reasons to continue living.
Govinda recalled being reminded that what he was doing was wrong and said he eventually understood that he had to live for his children.
The actor said it took him around 10 to 15 days to come out of that emotional state. Gradually, he began to feel that life still had more experiences in store for him and that he needed to move forward.
His mother’s death also changed the way he viewed films, fame and success.
Govinda said he eventually began to see acting, stardom and heroism as temporary gifts rather than the biggest achievements of life.
For him, the real achievement was being able to take care of his family and fulfil the dreams his mother had for him.
He said that being able to achieve what his mother had imagined for him when he was young gave him a deeper sense of fulfilment than stardom itself.
On the work front, Govinda is currently promoting his upcoming film Roopa.