Real Life Love Story: Even after feeling love and feelings, sometimes such situations arise when the relationship reaches the verge of breaking. Something similar happens in this story too, where the boy is refusing to marry after living together for 11 years.
Viral Relationship Story: We are both of the same age, we have been together since childhood and despite being in love for 11 years, this couple is now on the verge of separation. It is not that the love between the two has diminished, yet there is no future visible for this relationship. This story is about a 29 year old girl, whose heart beats for a boy of the same age. But now the boy neither wants to marry her nor have a child. The grief-stricken girl has shared the entire story on Reddit. So let us tell his story in his own words.
The girl’s story on Reddit starts with this line, ‘Her (boyfriend) passed away 4 years ago. He then told me that he felt empty inside, that he didn’t know who he was and what he wanted. I encouraged her to seek therapy and give herself time. She went to therapy for about 3 months, but then her therapist changed careers and she didn’t try to find anyone else after that, even though I kept encouraging her.
Dating To heartbreak
After about a year he proposed to me. At the same time he said that the old house no longer feels like his own because memories of his mother are attached to it. We shifted to his “Dream Home”. A house that he had dreamed of since childhood. The house was very big so it needed a lot of renovation, which we have been doing ourselves for the last two years.
Did not get support from partner in times of grief
The girl further writes that last year I lost my two very close grandparents, in whose care I was involved. I was very devastated by this grief, but to be honest, I did not feel much support from my partner. He started staying away from me and felt irritated when I shared my feelings. At that time I thought maybe she was under stress, new job, pressure at home and worries about her father’s health.
Truth Behind Relationships
Over the past two years, I have asked him many times if he is okay or if something is troubling him. Every time his answer was that I was just tired. The more I tried to connect with him, the more he closed himself off. Recently we had a big argument when I caught him lightly flirting with a girl online. It was nothing serious and he didn’t cheat. He showed me all the messages and answered every question. Still, when there was already distance and lack of intimacy between us, it hit me hard and I started hearing alarm bells.
Decrease in sexual attraction
After this conversation he opened up and told everything. He said he feels empty inside, he doesn’t know what he wants and he feels like I put a lot of pressure on him. He said he finds me attractive, but no longer feels sexual attraction to me. He hates his life, feels that he is just surviving and often has thoughts of leaving everything behind. He wants to be alone, away from me, our dog, friends and family so that he can understand himself.
Boyfriend does not want marriage and children
He also said that he no longer wants marriage and children. He says that he proposed under pressure and now he is angry about this. His mother had many marriages, so he does not see any point in marriage. At the same time, he feels that the world is so bad that it is not right to bring children into it.
Boyfriend is in depression
We decided that for the next six months we will see how things progress. This time will also give me a chance to create a safety net so I can save for a house if he really has to leave. He says he loves me, always will, he can’t even think of me out of his life and the thought of losing me scares him. He wants to try. He is now in therapy again and admits that he is depressed and that his thinking and behavior cannot continue like this for much longer. What hurts me the most is that he didn’t talk to me first. We could find compromises. For me, that is more important than marriage. There could have been other ways to get married, not just a big function but an elopement, a joint will (which we already have because we have a joint mortgage and assets), or moving in together. I just wanted honesty.
I am heartbroken, angry, confused and mentally exhausted. I love him very much, but he has a lot of unresolved baggage. When life becomes too real, he gets nervous. This is starting to affect my self-esteem and mental health, and I don’t know how much longer I can take. Does he really need space or would it be better to slowly walk away from the relationship? Please you guys tell.
people’s opinion
People put forth their opinions to clear the girl’s confusion. One wrote that this relationship has completed its time. Get out. One user wrote, are you ready to take this risk? I have also been in your place. I stayed together because I thought that’s what I should do in a long term relationship. I wish I hadn’t done that, and I wouldn’t have had the timeline to have kids. Most people say that it is better to leave this relationship.
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