Marriage conflict: After 8 years of marriage and having a child, it seems that there is no relationship left with the husband. We have not been physically there for 2 years, there is no emotional support either. The story is of a woman, who has narrated her story on social media and sought opinion.
Relationship Story: If there comes a point in marriage when it seems that there is no filling left for the partner. Both of them start living like a roommate. This story is also similar, where a woman has shared her pain. On Reddit, she told how her relationship with her husband has completely changed since pregnancy. So let us tell about the pain of a woman…with which many people agree.
The 30 year old woman wrote that her relationship with her husband of the same age is currently going through a bad phase. We have been together for the last 8 years and got married a year ago. We have a daughter, who is now about 17 months old. But the truth is that in the last two years (from pregnancy till now), we have had physical relations only once.
I spoke openly to him many times. Told them how I felt, how I wanted things to change, it just took a little effort and commitment. But nothing changed in two years. Now it has reached such a point that I am breaking down from within and recently I could not control myself and lashed out at him.
Not only intimacy, there is no emotional companionship as well.
The issue is not just about physical distance. When my daughter was born, she was born prematurely (33.5 weeks) and stayed in the NICU for two weeks. I had severe preeclampsia, so I didn’t want anyone to come over. Despite this, my in-laws forcefully entered the NICU. Later, when I decided that only my husband and I would visit our daughter in the NICU, which her doctor also agreed to, my father-in-law called me “manipulative.”
My husband told me this later. Now I have learned that he also calls me “vindictive” and accuses me of keeping him away from his granddaughter, while he comes to our house unannounced and then feels bad when asked to leave quickly.
When I told my husband that he should support me and our daughter, his response was that you and my parents should talk to each other. He will not say anything in this matter.
Not together even in difficult times
This is not the first time that he did not support me. The biggest shock came when my father passed away. That day he did not come to me immediately. He came the next day, that too after playing tennis with his best friend. His excuse was that he “did not want to accept the truth.”
No marriage, just a roommate relationship
On top of all this, there was a complete lack of intimacy for years and the feeling that we were just living together as roommates and raising a child. I am beginning to think that perhaps this marriage cannot be saved now. I am seeing a counselor specialized in marital issues and I have told him this too. But it seems like everything I say comes back against the wall. I understand that closeness can be difficult after a baby, especially when there is no support for childcare. But I don’t think the situation should be so bad.
There is a desire, but the initiative is also one-sided
I know I can take initiative too. I also tried. Send flirty and suggestive messages. But all I got in response was ha ha ha emojis, as if my feelings were a joke. I don’t just want a physical relationship, I want to feel that my husband loves me. His reasoning was also that he was focused on making money and supporting us financially, since I was currently completing a nursing bridge program. I understand their point, but if the marriage will not survive, then what is the use of all this?
Read more: Dating Tips: If you are celebrating New Year in a pub with your BF, then keep these 6 things in mind.
The question that is roaming in the mind
Overall, I don’t know whether this relationship can survive now or not. Can this marriage improve, or is it simply headed for disaster?
people’s opinion
People believe that the situation the woman is going through is extremely heavy mentally and emotionally. Traumatic delivery, no physical relationship for two years and no support from in-laws, it is natural for her to get tired. Many users clearly said that marriage can work only when both the partners take responsibility, stand for each other and make efforts in the relationship. Some people also said that the woman’s expectations are not wrong, because physical and emotional connection is the foundation of marriage. At the same time, some users advised to wait for counseling and understand their feelings clearly before taking the final decision.
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