A woman reports that whenever there is a disagreement, her mother becomes silent. This story shows emotional distance, misunderstanding and efforts to save the relationship, which raises the question, is communication or distance the right path?
Parent Child Communication Issues: The relationship between parents and children is usually built on understanding, trust and open communication. But when these conversations turn into tension, silence and misunderstandings, the relationship becomes a burden. A 34-year-old woman shared one such problem regarding her relationship with her mother, where her mother becomes silent even at the slightest disagreement. This problem is not just one family’s, it is the reality of many older children who find themselves trapped between emotional distance and guilt.
Habit of avoiding conversation and its effect
The woman says that her mother finds it difficult to talk directly on issues. On phone calls, she calls for some specific reason, but it takes 30-40 minutes to get to the point. If her daughter asks her to speak directly, her mother remains silent. This type of conversation is not only tiring, but also gradually fills the relationship with disappointment.
Displeasure over children’s disagreement
Mother considers every different opinion as a personal attack. If her children disagree on something, they are either ignored or the conversation is cut off altogether. Sentences like, “I won’t say anything now,” have become a kind of emotional weapon for her. This is followed by silence for weeks or months, after which the mother behaves as if nothing has happened.
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Loneliness, past trauma and emotional insecurity
Divorce, lack of friends, and distance from children – all these things affect the emotional condition of the mother. This behavior increased further after her husband left her six years ago. It may be that this silence is more a result of insecurity and loneliness than anger, but it is not easy for children to understand this every time.
Trying to save the relationship or creating distance?
The three siblings do not want to end their relationship with their mother, but having to constantly explain themselves and cross-check everything after every conversation is mentally tiring. The question is, can setting boundaries, using calm language, and talking at scheduled times improve relationships, or is less contact the only solution? Experts believe that in such cases, it is important to set clear but loving boundaries – boundaries that maintain both respect and self-protection.
What is people’s opinion?
After the story on Reddit, people said that maybe calling more often reduces the call duration? Instead of waiting for her to call to talk to her, call her just to check up on her. Another user said that your mother becomes silent as a coping mechanism related to past trauma and personality. You can’t force change, but you can manage the conversation by talking slowly. One user said that conversation is two-way. You can’t be on both sides of a conversation. I think you should tell her straight out how you feel and not beat things up. She may get angry or silent, but she may also listen. Just when he starts talking again, don’t indulge his illusion that nothing happened.
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