Actor R Madhavan recently shared his thoughts on the portrayal of men in films today, particularly those labelled as “toxic.” In an exclusive conversation with India Today, he noted that many men are often unaware of their offensive behaviour, attributing it to the way they have been brought up.
Madhavan elaborated, “People in the environment. So even when they don’t intend to be offensive and genuinely want to be inclusive and respectful, the way they’ve been taught to show respect to women is very different – because they’ve learnt it from their own parents.”
Additionally, he spoke about how men of his generation are making an effort to adapt to evolving ideas of respect towards women, though it can sometimes be confusing. “People like me have to learn the new-age way of showing respect to women. For instance, I’m used to opening the car door for a woman, letting her walk ahead, or standing up when a lady is standing. But today, that can be seen as offensive. There are people who say, ‘Please don’t open the door for me.’ Yes, there is a section that feels that way,” he explained.
can often be confusing. “It does leave men confused. I’ve been told things like, ‘Please don’t call me ma’am,’ or ‘Don’t open the door for me, I can do it myself.’ I’ve heard that. So now, men are left tiptoeing around the question – should we do it or not?”
He explained that most men aren’t trying to be disrespectful – they simply don’t fully grasp what has changed. “Although they don’t want to be offensive, and they want to be courteous and well-mannered, chivalry is now becoming redefined,” he said.
Talking about the characters in films, he explained how they may not seem like bad people on the surface, but still hurt women without realising it.
He said, “Yes, a man can be toxic, but he may not intend to be. And that’s what we’re exploring in the story of ‘Aap Jaisa Koi’.
Madhavan added, “He believes he’s evolving, but he’s not changing enough. He’s still being offensive – unknowingly. What he sees as a magnanimous gesture may actually be hurtful, but he fails to realise that. It’s only when events in his own life unfold that he has a moment of reckoning. So I’m just saying – give these men a bit of leeway. Explain things to them. And if, even after that, they remain unchanged, then yes, it’s clear they are toxic.”