Choosing the wrong partner again and again is not luck, but psychological. Childhood experiences unconsciously draw us toward familiar but wrong relationships. This cycle can be broken through self-analysis and self-respect.
Bengaluru: When a new relationship begins, everything feels great in the beginning. But as days pass, the same old story starts repeating. The partner’s behavior changes, it becomes difficult to understand each other and ultimately the rift increases so much that the relationship breaks. If this is happening again and again in your life, then it is not your bad luck. Psychologists say that your mentality and childhood experiences may be the reason behind this. Let us understand why this happens.
Why do we choose the wrong partner?
According to psychology, the environment we see at home in childhood acts as a blueprint for our future relationships. Children who grow up seeing love and respect between their parents, grow up to seek the same qualities in their partners. But, those who have seen an environment of fights and lack of love in their childhood, they unknowingly get drawn towards similar difficult relationships.
Experts say that our mind always runs towards familiar feelings. If you have seen fights, shouting and lack of love at home in your childhood, then the same turbulent environment becomes ‘normal’ for your mind. That’s why, when you grow up and someone treats you with love and respect, you might start finding them boring. Before you even realize it, your mind starts getting attracted towards angry or emotionally distant people who remind you of old wounds.
The truth is that many times we do not trust ourselves. ‘Am I worthy of true love and respect?’ This misunderstanding keeps troubling us from within. For this reason, we start to tolerate even those people who do not treat us well. It is like a vicious cycle. The lower the self-confidence, the greater the risk of getting into a wrong relationship.
How to get out of this cycle?
To get out of this cycle, first of all you have to analyze your old relationships. You have to understand how you have been choosing people and what mistakes are being made again and again. If needed, take help from friends or a psychologist. Psychologists advise that the most important thing is to learn to love and respect yourself. Only when you can do this, you will get a chance to choose a right partner.